Currently I am listening to the audiobook The Meaning of Mariah Carey by the one and only queen herself, Mariah. I’ve been a Mariah Carey fan since I first heard her incredible voice somersault out of the radio back sometime around 1991. The childlike song “Someday” spoke to my ten-year-old heart and her vocal talents spoke to my soul. My mother would roll her eyes whenever Mariah hit one of those otherworldly high notes, but I just listened in wonder...how was it even humanly possible?
After living a life of privacy, I mean as private as you can be being Mariah freaking Carey, she finally put out her own authorized autobiography and reads (and sings) it herself on the audiobook version. Hearing her tell her own story is truly fascinating and inspiring. She was so incredibly driven and sure of her purpose, something I have always envied in other people that just know.
I myself never felt like I knew, but maybe it’s more that I’ve never given myself much credit for what I was focused on.
Creating a stable and loving family was my focus early on and has continued to drive me forward. I have never acknowledged this to myself because it’s not something we hear much about as being important. Women nowadays are all expected to be independent, money-makers, and boss bitches, so the giving of myself to my vision of a happy family and motherhood has always felt less-than and diminished. Even unimportant.
The irony of this is that of course, mothers are crucial to our survival as a species. And good mothers are vital in the act of straightening the course of human beings. We are the ones raising the next generation and we count.
Okay, this is not a rant about why mothers are important--I’ll save that for another day. This is a reminder that our dreams are valid, even if they aren’t occupied with money, fame, power, or recognition. Likewise, this is a moment to stop and reassess your focal points. Focus is incredibly important and can be quite challenging for many of us. In a world rife with distractions from smartphone notifications to news ads playing at gas stations, most of us are chugging Lion’s Mane coffee or buying into some new supplement that promises to help us stay focused!
But what exactly are we focusing on?
The hope of course is that we are focusing our time and attention on the things that bring us joy and fulfill a sense of positive purpose within us. Part of that focus must be about quieting the noise of the outside world so we can truly hear ourselves.
My husband, Stacey, has spent most of our relationship focused on our small family business of real estate here at Valnes and Company. He has lasered in on who and what he wants to be and he’s made it happen. We have created quite a successful real estate brokerage selling luxury real estate in one of the hottest markets in America. Hashtag blessed is an understatement. While we did create this company together, it’s been his focus, determination, and immense talent that has gotten us to where we’re at in terms of business and financial success. However, it has been a complete team effort. I have supported him in all ways possible and he has supported me in my vision of being a dedicated mother whilst working real estate somewhere in the background.
Together, he and I have accomplished many goals we have set for ourselves, which feels pretty good. Listening to Mariah reminisce about her path to success has helped me to realize that I’ve had a path too--sure there’s been quite a few twists and turns, but I’ve reached many important destinations.
And there’s the catch--I, nor Mariah, nor Stacey, have reached the final destination. The older I get, the more I realize that perhaps there is no finality because life is just a building block type of game. We keep building up, sometimes we get knocked down, but if we have that vision locked in then we find the strength to build up again.
Whether I realized it or not, I had a focus. That being said, I wish I had realized it sooner because it’s a nice way to make something slightly nebulous more tangible. Still, now I know what my focus is and as I grow and evolve, the things I choose to focus on will naturally change as well, so I give myself ample wiggle room. The one thing that won’t change, however, is the continuation to hone in on those things which light me up and help me to create a better world full of love, humor, peace, and joy.